Do you ever feel like you’re too much, too sensitive, too emotional, too intense, or too complicated?
Maybe you’ve been told to stop overreacting, calm down, or be less dramatic.
For many of the people I work with in my therapy practice, both online and in person in Menai Bridge and Llandudno, this is a familiar refrain. They carry a quiet shame about their sensitivity, believing it makes them hard to love or “too difficult” to be around.
But what if your sensitivity isn’t a flaw? What if it’s a sign of your nervous system’s wisdom, an echo of all the ways you’ve had to adapt to survive?
The Myth of Being ‘Too Much’
From a young age, many people learn that strong feelings are unsafe or unacceptable. Parents, teachers, or peers might have responded to tears or anger with dismissal (“Don’t be silly”), avoidance (“Stop making a fuss”), or punishment. Over time, the message becomes internalised:
“My emotions are wrong. I must make myself smaller to be accepted.”
This emotional invalidation can lead to self-suppression, perfectionism, and disconnection from one’s inner world. When the natural flow of emotion is stifled, it often resurfaces in less obvious, and more painful, ways.
For some, that looks like Eating Disorders, where controlling food offers a sense of stability in a world that feels unpredictable.
For others, it appears as Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), where intrusive thoughts and rituals become a desperate attempt to create safety.
And for many who have experienced chronic stress, neglect, or trauma, Complex PTSD (CPTSD) develops, a long-term pattern of emotional dysregulation, shame, and hypervigilance.
The Nervous System’s Story: Why Sensitivity Makes Sense
The idea that you are “too sensitive” is often a misunderstanding of how your nervous system has adapted to past experiences.
Drawing on Polyvagal Theory (Porges, 2011), we know that the body is constantly scanning for cues of safety or threat, a process called neuroception. If you’ve lived through unpredictable or unsafe environments, your nervous system may have learned to stay alert, even when there’s no immediate danger. This hyperawareness can look like anxiety, emotional reactivity, or sensitivity to sensory input, but it’s actually a form of protection.
In other words:
You’re not overreacting. Your body is remembering.
Understanding this can be deeply validating for people with CPTSD, OCD, or disordered eating, where the body and mind are often locked in survival mode.
Neurodivergence and Sensitivity
Many neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD and autism, also describe feeling “too much.” They may experience emotions and sensory input more intensely, and social expectations can make this feel overwhelming or shameful.
For example:
- Autistic individuals might have strong sensory sensitivities (to sound, light, or texture) and deep empathy but are often misunderstood as overreacting.
- People with ADHD may feel emotions more vividly (sometimes called “emotional hyperarousal”), which can lead to impulsivity, rejection sensitivity, and burnout.
When neurodivergence intersects with trauma or mental health difficulties, the sense of being “too much” can multiply. Understanding yourself through a neuroaffirming lens, recognising that your brain processes the world differently, not wrongly, is a key part of healing.
How These Experiences Intertwine
The overlap between sensitivity, trauma, neurodivergence, and mental health is complex but meaningful. Here’s how they often interact:
| Area | How it can feel | Underlying pattern |
| Emotional Sensitivity | “I feel everything so deeply.” | A highly responsive nervous system; emotional attunement developed for survival. |
| OCD | “If I control everything, I’ll be safe.” | Attempts to reduce anxiety and uncertainty; a nervous system seeking predictability. |
| Eating Disorders | “If I manage food or my body, I can manage my life.” | Control as a coping strategy when emotions or environment feel uncontrollable. |
| CPTSD | “I’m always on edge; I can’t relax.” | Chronic activation of fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses. |
| Neurodivergence | “I’m overwhelmed by things that others don’t notice.” | Differences in sensory processing and emotional regulation. |
Recognising these connections can help you approach your struggles with compassion rather than self-criticism.
The Research Behind Sensitivity
Psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron’s work on the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) offersfurther validation. Aron’s research suggests that around 15–20% of people have a trait called sensory processing sensitivity. This trait isn’t a disorder, it’s a biological difference in how the brain processes information and emotion.
HSPs are often:
- Deeply empathetic and intuitive
- Strongly affected by art, music, and nature
- More prone to stress in overstimulating environments
- Thoughtful and conscientious
When nurtured and supported, these traits can be sources of great strength, empathy, creativity, and authenticity. But without understanding or acceptance, they can feel burdensome and isolating.
Healing From the ‘Too Much’ Story
Therapy can be a powerful place to rewrite the story you’ve been told about yourself. Evidence-based approaches that often support sensitive individuals include:
- Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT): Helps reduce shame and self-criticism by building inner warmth and safety.
- Somatic or Body-Based Therapies: Such as Sensorimotor Psychotherapy or Somatic Experiencing, which help regulate the nervous system and process trauma stored in the body.
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): Encourages emotional acceptance and alignment with personal values.
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing): Particularly effective for trauma and CPTSD.
Working with a therapist trained in these models can help you build safety within yourself and soften the belief that you are too much.
Practical Ways to Support Yourself
Healing doesn’t only happen in therapy, it happens in the small, consistent ways you show up for yourself each day. Here are some gentle, evidence-informed practices:
1. Name What You Feel
Use emotional vocabulary to bring clarity: “I’m feeling overwhelmed” or “I notice sadness rising.” Naming emotions engages the prefrontal cortex, helping calm the amygdala’s alarm response (Lieberman et al., 2007).
2. Ground Through the Body
Try simple grounding techniques like:
- Pressing your feet into the floor and noticing the sensation
- Slow, deep breathing (inhale for 4, exhale for 6)
- Gentle self-touch, like placing a hand over your heart
These practices cue the parasympathetic nervous system, inviting calm.
3. Create Sensory Safety
For those who are neurodivergent or highly sensitive, sensory overwhelm can trigger distress. Identify what helps you regulate, soft textures, quiet spaces, calming scents, or music, and incorporate these into your environment.
4. Set Boundaries Without Apology
Sensitivity often comes with people-pleasing. Remember that saying “no” is not rejection; it’s self-respect. Boundaries protect your energy so you can connect authentically.
5. Challenge the Inner Critic
When you hear that familiar voice saying, “You’re overreacting,” pause. Ask yourself, “What does this part of me need right now?” Often, the critic is trying to protect you from shame.
6. Seek Connection
Healing from shame and emotional isolation happens in safe relationships. That might be therapy, support groups, or friendships that celebrate your depth rather than dismiss it.
If This Feels Familiar…
If you see yourself in these words, if you’ve felt “too much” for others, if your emotions feel like a tidal wave, or if you’ve struggled with OCD, CPTSD, disordered eating, or neurodivergence-related overwhelm, you are not alone.
Your sensitivity tells the story of a nervous system that has worked incredibly hard to keep you safe. Therapy can help you build a new relationship with that sensitivity, one rooted in compassion, understanding, and empowerment.
Working Together
I specialise in supporting individuals who identify as highly sensitive, neurodivergent, or who live with trauma, OCD, or Eating Disorders.
Sessions are available online and in person in Menai Bridge, Anglesey and Llandudno, Gwynedd.
Together, we can explore:
- How your sensitivity developed
- The patterns that keep you stuck
- Ways to regulate your nervous system
- How to build safety in relationships, including with yourself
You don’t need to become less of yourself to heal. You simply need to feel safe being who you already are.
You Are Not Too Much
Sensitivity is not a weakness. It’s the part of you that notices beauty, cares deeply, and longs for connection.
The goal isn’t to get rid of it, it’s to learn how to live with it gently, so it can become a strength rather than a source of shame.
If you’d like to take the next step, you can get in touch via contact form or e-mail.
